If we were in the drama, I'd be casted as the supporting actress. Although it hurts to see someone do what I know goes on the brink of...impossible, cause it changed who I am as a person, it can happen. It will hurt, then immunity will go up, walls will be built and then "you're gonna catch a cold, from the ice inside your soul".

Oh yes, you have no idea what I am talking about do you. On a side not, I think I've not pointed my middle finger at anyone for a very long time hmmm

a thousand times over

Studying alone is not so bad. I try not to call it studying, but more like alone time. I don't like the idea of learning something just so I can use it for exams. But the thing with the Singapore education system is, that's what you get. I was talking to Hilma yesterday and I was thinking about why I can study alone now. I told her it's because "I don't want to regret too late and have nothing to write on my paper later on. Although I'm in Arts and I can "smoke" yes but I don't like coming out of the six months and learning nothing". I don't like this attitude of mine, learning just so I have something to write for the exams. I'm scared I'll forget everything I've learnt. What if my time in University does not change my thinking, does not make me a better person, a better thinker, a better leader. Physical geog will be the bane of my existence. What more with me horrifyingly recycling my geog notes which the golden Atlas girls Su, Syaf and Ern label as "the best kind of reincarnation".

Friends always make me feel better than I actually expect. Starbucks with Golden Atlas Girls (oh no the acronym for this is GAS) Monday and school/pasta after with Silat seniors yesterday.

Photo not by me.

A four-leaf clover.

I don't know why you trusted me but I'm glad you did. Was it cause I was a stranger? If you could trust me I don't know why I couldn't tell you how beautiful you are.

Well, for sure

I can't sing. But I do feel like learning how to play the guitar or the ukelele. Sometimes, I feel good listening to music but then again, it sucks knowing how you have no talent and cannot make some beautiful music myself. Finals make people do weird things, and made me fall in love with...

The wooden tables at Starbucks which makes me feel like I'm in a huge urban treehouse. And the smell of coffee in there. Also, if they get your order wrong (which shouldn't be the case), grab the wrong one. Then proceed to make a sad face complete with kitten eyes just like Connie did. If they ask you if you want them to re-make it for you, say that it's okay. Go back to seat. They'll send you another free one. But note: you have to look scary/remotely cute. Please don't expect anything if you look plain annoying sorry.

wait a little longer

People come and go no matter how much I want them to stay. Maybe it's my inability to...spill out my innermost feelings, to share everything. Like how girls are supposed to with other girls. Or how words get caught in my throat. So I swallow them instead, and let them snowball in me. If I want someone to stay, I can never gather enough courage to tell them. That is why, I've learnt not to get too close, and I never let anyone get too close. I have wonderful friends I really do. I laugh and smile all the time but sometimes I wonder if everyone's really my friend and if I'm really theirs. Even if I do get the courage to tell someone that I want them to stick around, will they really stay? Will there be anything in me that'll make them want to stay?