my feelings in a bottle

I felt it, at that moment.
Happiness
Yet I could never stay the same for long
I learned new things and perceptions change
I changed
too fast
To you everything was perfect
To me everything felt wrong
I've never felt happier yet wrecked with guilt at the same time before
I felt too much of the wrong things
it was not the kind we needed
we didn't know till it was too late
You felt we were alike
I just thought
it didn't matter if we're not alike
but we wanted different things
Strangers again
You and I
We (no longer exist in our minds)
but we will always be unfinished business

Recess week day 2

Today I started off a rainy day with blueberry yogurt for breakfast, and then I took my mum's car to school.Thank goodness for my super awesome parents, they would always send us wherever we want to go without complaining! NUS and Bedok in Singapore is like the North and South pole in the world please. After that, discussed Islam studies assignment with Shyaza, had my fav hotbake sandwich and off to tutorial. That tutorial was intense I tell you! After that had lunch with silat seniors and we were given access to a secret place in school. Ride home was bo-ring, a weird couple was sitting in front of me and they were talking about me...or was I being too self conscious?

I felt so...I don't know what the word is...depressed in the train? I was mostly surrounded by working adults and they were all so gloomy, and looked so disinterested in their surroundings. Most of them were rushing to get home I guess. Rushing for dinner. I thought to myself "Is this how I will be like after I graduate? What if I don't want to follow this path? Can I do something else? Can I be someone else?"

Time will tell!

Tomorrow I'll have silat training but before that, I'll be going down to NUS museum for....
The Sufi and The Bearded Man: Re-membering a Keramat in Contemporary Singapore.

[Image credit: Nurul Huda B. A. Rashid, Singapore, 2010]

This exhibition re-members the keramat of a 19th century Sufi traveler from the Middle East who lives on in contemporary Singapore through her miracles and her shrine which was recently removed. Re-membering the keramat has involved a two-year long project of collaborating with Ali, an intermediary of the Sufi and custodian of the masoleum referred to by fellow devotees as "the bearded man". These conversations culminated in the keramat and its life-worlds entering a museum, a transition animated by the display of photographic evidence, material remains or artifacts, anecdotal histories and related documents. Considering alternative ways to recount and understand heritage, The Sufi and the Bearded Man, calls attention to devotional culture, lesser-heard narratives and esotericism in Singapore.

I'm quite excited to head down, maybe cause I've never been to museum for quite some time!

(p.s. Is it just me or do I sound crazily trigger happy in this post?)

One more day to recess week

But first I have to get over some “hurdles”; tonight it includes finishing up this Southeast Asia assignment which just requires me to tie up some loose ends and make me sound more coherent and convincing. I liked doing this assignment honestly although it has been weighing on my mind ever since we were told about it. Backspace, rephrase, delete, synonyms. Print it, hand up to the box outside the office, and turn it in online. Also not forgetting, hopefully ace my Thai listening test tomorrow. I wonder how that’ll turn out?

But after that wuuuuuu!!! Rest, raya, study, silat, run, gym, friends, updating my phone’s music on repeat. Maybe take more photos. Can you smell the freedom? But wait, in retrospect, recess week just gives a fake sense of freedom! Oh yea I took up silat haha I can never be a chill student in school…

(all these totally copied from my tumblr btw, cause I'm too lazy and also cause everything and anything personal gets lost in the myriad of reblogs on tumblr)

never mind I'll find someone like you

I hope that in the pursuit of acadamia, I don't lose myself, God, my friends, my social life (or what is left of it), the things I love and all things important to me...cause honestly, you'll be like a blank, new notebook, just filled with lines but with nothing filled in between them. You have no opinions of your own, no adventures, no friends to have adventures with, nothing to hold on to, no family and friends to love and to be loved by. Yes, everyone will be alone at some points in their lifetime but you'll be alone and lonely.

What to eat when you're hungry after a run

Post 4.4k run - Honey cinnamon oatmeaaaal. I can make oatmeal turn to dessert, seriously. I don't kid when it comes to food. Especially oatmeal. In the morning I made....chocolate strawberry oatmeal. But I've no pictures for that sadly.
Also, did anyone watch the Sg vs China match yesterday? Was that the most kayu/obviously bribed ref ever or what?!