You might not get me, but that's okay

Today I realise that at 18 (not yet my birthday), it is okay to have an urge to buy a big bag of candy, and to actually do it. And that is it okay to eat that candy alone on a bridge. I found a lego organiser and that made me excited today. At 18, candies and lego still makes my heart beat faster haha! I realise that I don't know as much as I thought I would when I was 15. But at 18, I realise that there are all sorts of people in this world, some I can get along with, some I can't and some that I don't even want to get close to. I realise that being older does not necessarily mean I'm more brave. If anything, it makes me more hesitant, doubt people more, analyse each of them over and over in my head. Analyse does not equate to judge. You learn more about the world. The more you know, the more you realise the world is larger that you think. You grow. But with each knowledge, you find yourself getting more cynical. I know there are great things that can be done in the world, but I don't know if I would be capable of doing it. I try to convice myself that it's okay. To be 18, and at a crossroad. To tell yourself to "take a step, plunge in, go with your gut". I have no idea if I'm making sense. But this is what I feel like at 18. If you don't get me, well that's just maybe cause you're not me.